8 Things Strong Couples Say to Each Other

I came across an article recently by Iris Goldaztajn about things that strong couples say to each other.  Having a caring and understanding partner in life is a blessing as you journey through this life together.

So, here they are!                                  

  1. “Thank you!”
  2. “I am proud of you.”
  3. “Good morning and good night.”
  4. “We’re a team.”
  5. “You’re amazing.”
  6. “I feel hurt when…”
  7. “I’m here with you.”
  8. “Have fun!”

“Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite”…let me help you share your Once Upon a Time Story.

Susan Blust

(239) 560-5143

Email:  sblustweddings@hotmail.com

The Most Important F-Word in Marriage May Surprise You

 

Friendship actually is the F-word that needs the most attention if you want to retain or regain a happy marriage. The single most distinguishing characteristic between happy couples and distressed couples is that happy couples are more likely to be best friends and actually treat each other as best friends would.

These married friends truly enjoy each other’s company. They routinely create opportunities to be together doing activities they both enjoy and alternating between each other’s favorite activities. They know each other’s simple preferences, like how they like their coffee, their back scratched, and their steaks prepared. They know each other’s pet peeves and either share them or find them amusing.

Because they are friends, happy couples share and express mutual respect. They know each other’s intimate secrets, disappointments, hopes, dreams, and deeply held values. They have a deep and strong positive regard for each other and naturally demonstrate their care and support of one another in dozens of ways — big and small — every day.

05/24/2016 01:43 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2016

Excerpt taken from the Huffington Post
By Dr. Jamie Williamson
Family Mediator & President of Amity Mediation Workshop

“Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite”…let me help you share your Once Upon a Time Story.

Susan Blust

(239) 560-5143

Email:  sblustweddings@hotmail.com

Appreciating Your Spouse

 

  1. Thanking him/her everyday for spending his/her live with you. Do this both in private, and in public.
  2. Never belittle or put your spouse down especially in front of others. You should be proud of who you are married to, so let others know how you feel!
  3. Pay attentionand listen to your spouse when having a conversation. Eye contact is important!
  4. Compliment each other at least once a day. Make a deposit into your spouse’s emotional bank account!
  5. Include him/her when you make plans even if they are not a part of the plan. They are at least being told what is going on by being included in the discussion.
  6. Let your spouse know the important role he/she plays, have played, and will play in your life and successes. And celebrate those life successes!
  7. When your spouse is tired from a hectic day, do what you can to help out. Be sure and ask, “How can I help you”?
  8. Let go of the small stuff, and don’t sweat it!
  9. Be patient when your spouse makes mistakes. We are all humans, no one is perfect.
  10. Let your spouse know how much you love them and do this every day!

“Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite”…let me help you share your Once Upon a Time Story.

Susan Blust

(239) 560-5143

Email:  sblustweddings@hotmail.com

 

 

Communication is Key

Marriages live and die by the amount of time two people communicate with each other. If two people can’t find a way to openly and honestly communicate their needs and feelings to one another, the marriage doesn’t stand much of a chance long-term. They must find a way to communicate with each other, regularly, honestly, openly and sometimes directly without belittling the other person.

This doesn’t mean waiting for an argument to tell your spouse other how much he/she bothers you with his/her throwing clothes on the floor instead of the hamper, or leaving toothpaste on the counter in the bathroom. It means telling him/her when you feel the need to, and to do so in a manner that is respectful.  I have found that using humor sometimes in these situations goes along way!

With everyone working so hard in this day and time to make a living, communication can get lost and we forget that we need to be making a life with our spouse.  So, communicate to your spouse how you feel, what you think, and do so in a loving way so that it is accepted from this loving place and you are more apt to have your need fulfilled, or understood if you do.

 

“Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite”…let me help you share your Once Upon a Time Story.

Susan Blust

(239) 560-5143

Email:  sblustweddings@hotmail.com

Kindness and Thoughtfulness

None of us can possibly know at the outset what our marriage will bring or what tools we will need.

But this I know to be true…kindness and thoughtfulness are key elements in a marriage.  If you don’t have these elements, then there will be trouble in the days to come.

Kindness that you would extend to a complete stranger, some married couples don’t even do this to the one person that they are to love above all others in this world.

Thoughtfulness that you extend to a co-worker, some married couples don’t even do this to the one person that they are to love about all others in this world.

The simple statement of, “What can I do to help you today?” Try this on your spouse and see the magic that will ripple with just this act of kindness and thoughtfulness.

 

“Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite”…let me help you share your Once Upon a Time Story.

Susan Blust

(239) 560-5143

Email:  sblustweddings@hotmail.com

From The Awakened Heart by Gerald May

 “There is a desire within each of us, in the deep center of ourselves that we call our heart. We were born with it, it is never completely satisfied, and it never dies. We are often unaware of it, but it is always awake. It is the human desire for love. Every person in this earth yearns to love, to be loved, to know love. Our true identity, our reason for being, is to be found in this desire…

…love is the ‘why’ of life: why we are functioning at all, what we want to be efficient for… I am convinced it [love] is the fundamental energy of the human spirit, the fuel on which we run, the wellspring of our vitality. And grace, which is the flowing, creative activity of love itself, is what makes all goodness possible.
Love should come first; it should be the beginning of and the reason for everything.”

“Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite”…let me help you share your Once Upon a Time Story.

Susan Blust

(239) 560-5143

Email:  sblustweddings@hotmail.com

Too Soon For Love

Is it too soon to be in love?  How do you know if you are in a relationship long enough to know if it is right for you? These two very hard questions you must answer honestly, yourself.  There are times that relationships move to quickly because we are desperate to be in love. Look at this about yourself. Have you healed from the last relationship that ended, I mean really healed yourself to understand what happened and why.  We can sometimes repeat patterns in relationships that are familiar to us. These patterns can most often come from our childhood patterns and the relationship our parents had. So be aware of this first.  How are your friends reacting to this relationship, and are you seeing any red flags or having feelings that are not sitting well with you, or that you are questioning?

I do believe that there are times someone just knows, their soul knows and the love is real. However, there are times that it is a familiar pattern, and that is what we feel and confuse it with love.  In my own life, I have experienced it both ways.  Once I finally realized the why and healed from the past relationships, I was able to know and to trust my feelings and they were real and ready!  And even though, I had only been on 3 dates with my husband Mark, I knew that he was the one, the one that I had been waiting for all of my life.

 

“Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite”…let me help you share your Once Upon a Time Story.

Susan Blust

(239) 560-5143

Email:  sblustweddings@hotmail.com

Ups and Downs

There are ups and downs in life, and we have all experienced these events.  But, can you imagine going through the ups and downs in life, with the “one” that you are divinely connected to be with.  To have the amazing feeling of knowing, that no matter what, you will make it through the “down” times, and how wonderful to celebrate the “up” times of life together. Something to think about, as you are moving through your life and your soul is searching for its mate, allow your soul to be open to the one whom through the ups and downs in your life, will always there for you, and makes you feel safe.  You might ask, how I will know, you will know because this person is a man of his word.

“Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite”…let me help you share your Once Upon a Time Story.

Susan Blust

(239) 560-5143

Email:  sblustweddings@hotmail.com

 

The Energy of Love

Love has an energy that is so powerful, like a magnet pulling you in.  With your partner in life this energy can be positive with your energy, or it can be negative with your energy.  To understand what I am talking about think about how you feel when your partner in life hugs you and holds you close.  How do you feel?  Think about when you are in conflict with your partner, how do you feel then? Do you still feel the same way as when he/she is hugging you? That is the one thing that I have noticed within my own marriage, either way, the energy for me is still one of security and feeling loved.  I think this is important for couples to think about. Looking back on my life, when I have been in relationships   myself where the two feelings were opposite of each other, I came to realize that these were the relationships that were not good for me. I know it may seem like an odd way to think about your relationship, but the energy of love to me should be the same, whether you are sitting quietly with each other, laughing with each other, hugging each other, or in conflict with each other in a disagreement.  That powerful loving energy should be the same for you with the one you love, and the one that loves you.

 

“Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite”…let me help you share your Once Upon a Time Story.

Susan Blust

(239) 560-5143

Email:  sblustweddings@hotmail.com

Am I Marrying the Right Person?

You will know you are marrying the right person when you feel support and encouragement about your own growth both emotionally, spiritually and intellectually. The right person will want you to be emotionally healthy and able to stand on your own two feet. When you are with the right person you will feel good about yourself, safe, and fulfilled.

The right person is kind, considerate, and polite. Little things in life such as saying ‘thank you’ and one who looks for ways to help make your life easier. A person who is a help mate, not a mate that you always have to take care of. If you are taking care of your potential spouse now, then you will be taking care of him/her when the kids come along as well. If you are feeling as if you are the only one picking things up around the house or taking care of everything now, you will be after you are married as well. The right person is willing to share in the responsibilities of your home and future children. I can speak from the perspective of a woman of course, and I remember telling my son when he started dating that whoever you end up with as a spouse, remember this, your wife wants an equal partner in marriage.  And if she feels that she has become your mother in the marriage, I can promise you she will become your ex-wife.

You and the right person should have similar goals and values in life. To be honest, it was something that as a young woman I didn’t think about. But,  when I was older and divorced at the age of 36, I looked back and realized it was of major importance. Moving forward in my life, I got it right, because my husband Mark and I are on the same page about values and goals in life.

And finally, someone who listens to your opinions and feelings, and better yet, who remembers what you say and builds on it later, and who responds with empathy, sincerity and caring words.

Remember this, the heavens may have brought you together, but it is up to you to stay together.

“Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite”…let me help you share your Once Upon a Time Story.

Susan Blust

(239) 560-5143

Email:  sblustweddings@hotmail.com